The strength of a relationship is inversely proportional to the number of modifications required to maintain it.
If you want an apple, don't settle for something that looks like an apple; and your dick makes you ignore the difference between the apple and its lookalike. Some people do figure out the truth over time, and then commit a bigger mistake: they assume they can change the lookalike to a genuine apple. I mean, what do they think of themselves? The fact that they like apples is a matter of choice, and they have no authority to try and change a lookalike to an apple.
The price you pay if you settle for something that tastes like an apple, but doesn't look like one, is lesser in my opinion. However, if you want apples, in long term nothing else works but apples :) Trivial, I know... but then the world is full of assholes that fail to see this trivial truth.
What if you don't get an apple? Well, I think your best bet is to have short term plans with multiple proxies, proxies in terms of taste or appearance. Date proxies, sleep with proxies, love proxies, but don't marry them. The problem of a long-term plan with proxies is that with time, your dick will lose its power to make you blind and you shall ultimately figure out the truth: it was a proxy and not an apple. And then, you would waste more time trying to figure out the possible modifications to convert it to an apple; the point is there are no possible steps. Apples remain apples.